Empathy

  • A friend has posted an interesting video on his Facebook account
  • It is about what is required now to retain employees in a work place
  • The advisor illustrates his argument that we have been witness three generations of employees in the work place
  • The first generation was our grand parents generation who needed jobs and remained in a work place for their entire life, not out of loyalty but necessity
  • Jobs were scarce then and they needed the job for food than anything else
  • The second generation worked in a job out of necessity for the status that they could enjoy on holding that position
  • And the present generation is difficult to remain loyal to work place unless the employer makes the work place more pleasant to be in
  • Though this can be a good argument for the IT industry, I don't think I agree with it fully
  • The present generation obviously has a lot of choices but it is more dissatisfied with itself
  • Its expectations are more than their capabilities
  • This generation is more flippant about their desires and less mature about their role in society
  • It is the "I, me and myself " generation
  • As a manager for two generations, I have observed all three generations of workers
  • When I joined the Department, the seniors were in the Department for the salary
  • Loyalty was limited to good bosses... bad bosses got indifferent attitude
  • The second generation were more loyal... and were loyal even to bad bosses, except that they tended to follow their bosses attitude toward work
  • The now generation has less respect to elders, much less attention span and are also ambitious to live beyond their capabilities
  • This generation is difficult to control and discipline
  • Yet I have some amount of satisfaction in being able to work with all three generations
  • The secret to this is common across all three generations
  • It is empathy
  • If we are empathetic to our subordinates, we can achieve any amount of discipline and dedication to work from them
  • We must be aware of the difference between empathy and sympathy
  • We must not be sympathetic
  • Sympathy is the key to inefficiency and laziness
  • Empathy wins for you where you can get work from even the most supposedly inefficient and lethargic people
  • I have had the satisfaction of having been able to extract work from even the most slovenly or lethargic employees
  • Empathy works across all three generations
  • There is a story of the late APJ Kalam when he was Director of ISRO
  • Once one of the scientists approached APJ and requested him to go early that evening as he had promised his wife that he would be taking his kids for a movie
  • APJ of course relented, but the scientist who was to go early became so much engrossed in his work  that he forgot he had to go early
  • At around 9 pm he completed his work and realized his folly and went home with great trepidation only to find his wife at home with freshly cooked dinner
  • He asked his wife where the kids were
  • His wife said your Director came in the evening and took them for the movie
  • Here, in this case, APJ showed empathy with his subordinate and not sympathy
  • If he was sympathetic and sent him home, the work would not have been done
  • Instead by showing empathy,  not only was the work done, but so was the problem of the employee solved
  • I don't say everyone must do this, but every boss has to be able to recognize and address the problem of his subordinate
  • This not only makes the office more efficient but also creates a healthy atmosphere to work in
  • This increases loyalty to the organization
  • Empathy is a strong weapon
  • By showing empathy we show that we are observant
  • For example it is common knowledge that we have to appreciate good work done by employees
  • Just appreciative comments are not enough
  • The appreciation must be specific for the work done
  • Just saying well done boys is not enough for empathy
  • Empathy requires the boss to appreciate a specific part of the work done
  • For example  if your subordinate has made a wonderful presentation, instead of saying that your presentation is excellent and out of the world   it is more effective if you pinpoint a specific part or slide in the presentation and then take the effort to explain why you found it wonderful
  • Here, the boss not only gives appreciation but makes the employee feel that the boss is sincere in his appreciation
  • Similarly, when we pull up a subordinate for wrong doing  , it is empathetic if the boss actually pin points where the employee was wrong and gives the employee an opportunity to justify or correct his wrongdoing
  • Also punishment must always be proportionate to the extent of wrongdoing
  • Often bosses are either too harsh or too lenient.... hence if the boss is empathetic, the punishment is well taken by the employee
  • Sympathy makes us lethargic.... empathy makes us energetic!
  • Empathy comes with sincerity...
  • The boss has to put in a lot of effort to be empathetic,  but once he makes it a habit, it is easy
  • Good morals, honesty to oneself as well as to others are the ingredients of developing the product called empathy
  • Empathy cannot be made as a show piece... everyone can see through you if you are not sincere
  • The easiest way to know if you are empathetic or not is to take this test
  • Test : 1
     If you ever feel any employee of yours is inefficient or lazy or not sincere in his or her work, then you are not empathetic.
    Test 2., 3, 4 and 5 :- same as above
  • In other words, the easiest way to know of you are not empathetic is if you have any problem in getting work done from your employees
  • It only indicates that you have to put in more effort
  • For a boss with lot of empathy, there are no disloyal employees

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